Stoke the Fires

Merry Meet and Welcome to my Hearth!

Pull up a stool as I stir my Cauldron and let us trade little tid-bits of information on spells, potions, brews, and the real every day life of Woman, Witch, Mother, and Wife.

Merry we meet, merry we part, and may we merry meet again with Many Blessings and Much Love to All!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

A Brutally Honest Intro

Hello, my name is Faye and I am a Witch. I am an eclectic solitary practitioner of my own paganistic-wiccan-witchcraft Path. I am a Daughter of the Lady and Lord. I am part of the All. I am a Seeker through this journey of life. I am a Survivor. I have been beaten, raped, mentally and emotionally abused. I have lied, cheated, and stolen. I have been lied to, cheated on, robbed, and had my children taken from me. I am very blunt and too honest. I have carried life in my body and brought them forth with tears of joy. I have suckled at my breast, the three young souls that have saved my life. They are my reason for learning patience and how to be a stronger person. I had put a man before them once, NEVER AGAIN! I tried using drugs to keep a failing marriage together, then I saw that "knowing" look in my son's eye. I tried using alcohol to wash all my pain away, until I felt the Lady's touch one full moon night. At one time I thought that sex was the only way to show affection and love, till I held a newborn in my arms. All that is part of my past, and so is part of my future. It has all made me who I am today and who I will be tomorrow. This will be a journey of self discovery and growth. It will not be easy. I will face my deepest darkest deamons. I will embrace the Darkness within and seek the Light in my heart. To grow from Seeker to Practioner...from a Survivor to a Woman who truly Lives her life. I also want this to be an open dialoge of truth and honesty. I do not pretend to know the answers, but I am willing to share my journey to find them. I have stumbled along this Path too long...It's time to pick myself up, dust myself off, stand straight and Live each Step that I take. Will you join me?

Friday, March 20, 2009

Ostara

Ostara, the Spring (Vernal) Equinox is here, a time for celebrating the fertility of the land and balance in all things. The second in the trinity of Spring sabbats and a solar festival. It falls on the 20th of March, 2009 (it usually falls around the 20th to the 22nd of March). The name Ostara (and Easter) comes from a Germanic deity named Eostre, who was a goddess of Spring and fertility. Many religions practice some form of reawakening ritual or festival around this time of year such as Passover for the Jews and Easter for the Christians. To me this time of year is when the young warrior god and the virgin goddess come together in the Great Rite. The joyous union can be seen in the budding leaf, the sweet bird song in the air, or the animals beginning to pair up for mating. The Lady herself will now quicken with new life within her womb, the Lord who will be reborn at Yule. Celebrate by going out and spending time in nature by taking a walk in the park, working in the garden, or just sitting outside. Blow and color eggs, bless them, then either give them away, decorate your altar or hang them in trees. If the eggs break, use any half shells to start seeds that you've blessed. Wear flowers in your hair or altar, and aspect the Goddess or God. Use a black candle and a white candle to show balance. Don't be afraid to get creative with using "traditional" Easter trappings for your Ostara celebrations. The well known rabbit (or hare) and the egg both are symbols of fertility from olden times. The colors of spring (light green, pink, lemon yellow, baby blue, white) are also pagan. Get creative, get the kids involved, and get celebrating this wonderful time of the Earth reawakening. Happy Ostara! Blessings and Love.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Reflecting the Darkness Within

Ostara, the Vernal Equinox, the second of the Spring festivals is a few days away. Spring teases us with brief glimpses of warmth. Mother Earth begins to awaken and her rebirth as starting to be visible. This is the time to bless seeds for future growth. Time for us to awaken and refreshing our homes, our spirits, our lives, our selves.
What do you want to grow in your life? What do you want to reawaken? The possible answers to these questions could be endless, as varied as there are readers. Since I can't read your minds I'll use my own shortened list as an example:
  • Prosperity: The abundance to cover our needs and to help out those who are less fortunate than us.
  • Love: The ability to love myself, as much as I love my children and husband.
  • Harmony: To live peacefully within our home, with our neighbors, our community, and our world.
  • Strength: To know when to speak, know what to say, how to stand up for my beliefs, and when to keep silent.
  • Wisdom: To accept my weaknesses, embrace my strengths, acknowledge what I need to change in my life, and to seek out the answers to my questions.
The way that I came up with this abridged list wasn't easy. It took the culmination of several incidents to come to a head one night and for me to finally face the Darkness Within myself. It was very hard, scary, and it brought me to tears.
This was my working...
On a quiet night, when the waning moon rode across the starry sky and my house was still, I gathered my tools: 3 large pillar candles, a towel, a lighter. I arranged the candles around the bathroom where they wouldn't fall or catch anything on fire. (I had cleaned the bathroom thoroughly earlier that day.)
I closed and locked the door. With lighter in hand, I faced away from the mirrors and turned off the lights. I began to disrobe. I was shaking in fear, but I was resolved to finish this dark period in my life. Little did I know what I would truly be facing.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Slowly I turned around to face the largest of the mirrors, still with my eyes closed. I did my Seven Breaths, grounded and centered, and turned my bathroom into sacred space. (I took the chance of not casting a circle as I would be using the shower as part of the working.)
Slowly I opened my eyes and faced my dark reflection. Scared, yet willing to face the Darkness Within my life, my past, my present, myself.
I used an invocation that I had written to call the Dark Lady. I called her by many of Her dark names. I felt Her void-ness deep inside my dark reflection.
I lit the candles and faced myself. My naked self. I was shocked at the look that I saw reflected on my face. Pain, anger, fear, shame. All the dark emotions plainly visible. The void began to fill with them...I began to fill with them.
I forced myself to face myself. No lies. No clothes. I examined my body, my heart, my soul. I looked at myself harshly and judgmentally. Every ugly word I had every heard about me or that I had ever thought about myself, filled my head. Tears began to roll down my face as flashes of dark thing that I had ever thought, done, felt, or said were reflected back at me.
I looked deep into my own eyes and welcomed all of these dark emotions. They flooded through me. Anger, fear, jealousy, hate, loathing, disgust, shame, pain. They filled me.
I felt like I was going to implode. I wasn't going to be able to hold on to all this black vile much longer. I looked deep into my own eyes, the windows to my soul and said:
"I love you and I accept you as you are."
A fresh wave of tears fell from my eyes as I felt all that cold, bubbling blackness loosen and change into something soft and warm. I almost lost my balance as the heaviness lifted off of my soul and my heart began to fill with love and hope.
There was truth in those words. I did love myself and I did accept myself as I was, imperfections and all. It was then that I felt my Lady's touch. Gentle as it was. I knew that I had done the right thing. No I hadn't banished the Darkness Within, that had never been my intent.
I thanked the Dark Lady, by all the names that I had called upon, for coming and aiding me on that night. She had helped me to see the Darkness Within. She had helped me to see me.
Using only the candlelight, I took a long hot shower. I could feel all the weighty ugliness flow down the drain as I scrubbed. I was cleansing myself, my body, and my spirit.
It came to me that the Darkness Within was not something to fear or be ashamed of. We all have this Darkness. It is something that is never faced or talked about. If it isn't recognized, it can turn into something ugly on the outside as well as the inside. It can blister and boil in the soul turning our lives into chaos.
The Darkness Within is a tool that we can and should learn from. We can harness and use the power that is there, not to harm but to heal. When we face it, we take control of it, but to take control of it we must accept it. When we accept it we can change our lives. We can begin to heal ourselves and begin to grow.
What did I need to ask for to balance the Darkness Within? What blessings would I confer onto my family and myself? The list came to me.
I stepped out of the shower, dried off, and snuffed the candles. I checked on my children. Went to my room, grabbed my notebook and pencil and began to write my list. I rewrote and condensed it many times, until it is the simplified list that it now is: prosperity, love, harmony, strength, and wisdom.
That's what I want to grow in my life. That's what I want to reawaken. How about you?
Blessings and Love.